CT
Thinking about the Past (Part VI)
VI.The city is looking at me. I see that something is happening in its head.
I cannot tell what exactly, but I am sure it concerns my attitude to the city.
I cannot call it “he”, because I don’t want to so far.
I’m content with our friendship and I do not want to spoil our relationships.
Making the city too humanized, I will never be able to trust it.
This personal pronoun “he” is some kind of a taboo for me.
What if the city doesn’t share my feelings?
What if it will never look at me again with its eyes full of dressed diamonds?
What if … Ah… I see what has happened to the city.
It is feeling (even as I’m thinking about it at this very moment) my anxiety.
The power of my thoughts has been spread over the galaxy.
When the words were written on the paper (and even for the second time when typed), the city transformed them into some tiny dribbles.
The latter went far. They must have inhabited all the possible lacunas.
I could see how “smile” and “Cheshire” were floating over the table.
“Alice, I have stolen your Wonderland”, I thought for a moment.
The city has never smiled like a Cheshire cat.
It smiled lightly, only sometimes did it smile loudly and it was hilarious.
I could even hear the trembling of my front doors.
Sometimes, a vase fell on the floor and the pieces went down under it and made a necklace for the soil.
Under these circumstances, I could not possibly punish the city.
I could not think about it, when the city was nearby.
After all, it must feel the freedom in my world.
Even if I own the world, I will not create the rules.
They will appear on their own, when the city falls asleep…
Yours,
Sam
